21. Doubt.

I’ve been having doubts.

I have told myself that I must have the utmost conviction in the project and just carry it on regardless but every now and the facade slips and I start having doubts about whether this project has any value.

The point is to deceive and one of the major things I have been having trouble with is my own doubt creeping in and telling me this whole thing is a load of rubbish…which it is. And I guess it is meant to be. But I do worry that I can’t present work that I knowingly feel is crap or executed badly. Lying is hard.

Also battling with the fact that I feel I’m not doing anything wholly productive, making a lot of things that have no meaning and trying to give them meaning. I’m still getting used to replacing the facts with my new post truth values…

Oh.